But What About Me?

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. ~Galatians 6:8 –10

Once in a while most caregivers might let out a big sigh and ask, “What about me?” When your family and friends get to vacation in Hawaii, or visit Israel, sail away on a cruise, drive new cars, have significant others, or have significant others who are helpful, become beloved grandmas and grandpas, eat steak and lobster on date night while you’re trying to figure out a healthy weekly menu, provide three meals a day, do laundry, draw blood, check blood pressure, drive to the ER/regular doctor visits and … Seriously, “What about me, Lord?”

It’s a pity party, I know, but be encouraged to hear that it’s okay. Consider however, the puddle of mud we wallow in and don’t stay there. Get some crying done, God is a great tear catcher. Refocus! Renew! Refresh. Say out loud, I am a child of God; He is all I need.

Relax a moment and watch this.

My personal pity party lasted a few days. Granted I was not in good physical shape, I pulled a muscle while exercising, a cold is slowly moving through my body, without warning my insurance stopped paying for my blood pressure medicines, and the ringing in my ear (tinnitus) was super loud all of a sudden. And then of course, that little disagreement I had with the folks.

We were having a lovely conversation at the breakfast table. Dad was able to tell us about a dream he had. The gate of heaven opened up for him and he heard wonderful music, a choir singing in Indonesian. He cried as he retold it a few times.

Then mom told us how the Lord had been showing her again how much He loves her and that His grace is sufficient and too wonderful to understand.

I said how awesome is it that after all we’ve learned and all the knowledge we’ve acquired throughout our lifetime that He always brings us back to the simplicity of the Gospel—He loves us, he came down for us, he died for us. Back to the basics.

Well, for some reason that got me the cold shoulder and that’s how my day started. Apparently, I shall be ignored … again. So I took my 10-year-old self upstairs, pouting all the way saying, “Fine, nobody loves me, nobody cares, I’m just dumb, and don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Even as I’m writing this I’ve got to laugh at myself. That doesn’t mean I didn’t take a walk down that dark and winding boulevard called “What About Me?”

How to deal with it? I can only tell you what I did. I went into my prayer room, then opened my Bible. I wish I could tell you that all was well after that. It wasn’t. Tears flowed, sighing happened, and everything that wasn’t fair in my life reared its ugly head. And that mean old devil had some nasty tricks up his scaly sleeves. Because, as you know, when you open that door of your heart he’ll sneak in believing that was his invitation. How dare he!

Nevertheless, everything from my past suddenly emerged and the puddle of mud became a murky pool. But God’s grace! It took a few days till I finally reached for that life-saving device and thank the Lord He was there to pull me out. My next prayer time began with, “Sorry it took me so long. Thanks for waiting, here I am.”

And He said, “Welcome back. I never left you. Eyes on Me, eyes on Me, and let’s move forward.”

Listen to these words by Lauren Daigle. 

His ways are not our ways, but … they are so much better.

By the way, if you have a friend, one of the earthly kinds, and she’s strong enough to have you share your moment of weakness, please call on her. Always remember to be a friend to her as well. Those are precious sisters indeed.

One more thing before we exit this pity party. I found profound wisdom from that little-known prophet, Joel: The threshing floors will be filled with grain; the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.  I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm.

~Joel 2:24, 25

There you have it, He will redeem the time you’ve given up in ministering to your aging parents, or whoever it is you are taking care of. It’s hard to see while you’re in this lonely season, but remember to keep your eyes on the One who will never leave or forsake you. If you can do that then this season shall be overflowing with wonders, miracles, joy, and even rest.

A Caregiver’s Prayer

Help me to see that you have prepared only good for me. You are for and not against me. Taking care of my loved ones is my purpose. It is a great purpose, God ordained. Thank you for being in the midst of this season. I know I am never alone. Be my strength.

Beloved Caregiver

It’s a great and mighty wonder

To stand straight in the storm

Sometimes your heart may flounder

But stays true to form

I am there, I am here

Never far, never fear

Walk with Me through the rain

I will carry all your pain

(Copyright © 2018, by Deborah L. Alten)