The Circle of Life

 (Before we start, just letting you all know that this post may contain affiliate links for which The Caregiver's Devotional may be remunerated for.)

From our Free Coloring book. Link below.

Every few months I head on over to our local pharmacy to pick up my meds. It's a short drive to Walmart (my town has a cute little Walmart Marketplace) and this time I was prepared for Mom to ask if they could come with me. That means getting out the walkers and wheelchair, and cramping them both in the back of my mini-Jeep. Mind you, they never come inside with me so these are for emergency purposes only.

I thanked the Lord for our beautiful ramp and off we went. It's wonderful, really, how a simple journey to the pharmacy is equal to a marvelous and most adventurous field trip. Every familiar sight to me is new for them. Dementia is a cursed thing, but joy is a blessing. 

Now, I am part of what has lovingly been dubbed as the Sandwich Generation even though my grown kids are now quite independent and out of the nest. Still, I am reminded of the day when my daughter, then a toddler, would come to Oma's house and check out what was new on the kitchen table or in the fridge. A bowl of candy ... always, and Dutch delights in the fridge.

My daughter would smile, sit quietly and patiently on Oma's old and weathered kitchen chair, looking wide-eyed at the candy bowl and mischievously say, "Mmmm, I've never tasted that before." In other words, may I have some please?

Today, as I pulled out of Walmart's driveway, colorful pictures of hamburgers, French fries, and ice cream cones flashed by on the windows of McDonald's, Arby's, Panera's, Blaze Pizza, In n' Out, and the list goes on. Arby's was what caught Mom's eye today. I didn't say a word till I heard, "Mmmm, I've never tasted that before."

It's official, the circle of life has begun. I had to giggle as we approached the drive-through. Good thing I like roast beef sandwiches and milk shakes.

You've got to find those blessings, those nuggets of joy. These are usually found in the smallest of details. On that note, I've created a coloring book because Mom loves to color and we love to share. So it's free. And if you think of us next time you go grocery shopping, here's our link to Walmart's Grocery pick up or delivery. We all score $15 off our grocery bill.

Download our Free Coloring Book 

and share the fun. Thanks for stopping by. We appreciate it.

Caregiving In The Year of COVID 19

(This post may have affiliate links. Clicking on them will take you to a separate website. I've made sure each link is safe. It won't cost you anything, and The Caregiver's Devotional may be compensated when you visit each site.)

Does it feel like Christmas yet? We're probably not doing the Christmas tree this year. Sad, I know. Is your tree up? I think this blog post might have more questions than answers. By the way, did you get any work done in 2020? Were you blessed with health? Trusting the Lord with your finances? Home-schooling children? Or taking care of loved ones? How did 2020 change your life? 

Nothing really changed much for us. We were already "quarantined" since 2017. As a matter of fact I had published a nice list of things to do to restore or keep your sanity. You should read it, maybe add your own wisdom to that list.

I wish for more writing time but that discipline is on pause. My friend, Ginger Galloway, however, managed to squeeze in some writing time. Even through this crazy 2020 season, she managed to publish another book.

  

Gerald Learned to Tie His Shoes is a gem lighting up this dark year. Take a look if you would. Ginger did an amazing job on the illustrations, as well. I wish I could take credit, but I can't, so I won't. It does have our logo on the inside of the book. Makes me look good, but she did all the work.

For me, well ... it's December. We've made it through the most turbulent year of our time, or so it seems. Of course, our elders might have something to say about that: WW2, Invasion of their homeland, POWs both Mom and Dad, The Great Depression, and more to list I'm sure.

But this year, for us, is our WW2. And changing the numbers from 20 to 21 probably won't change this situation we've found ourselves in ... not for a while, at least. Voting a new president into office will not cure racism or a pandemic. I don't know how you voted but as Christians we can only say that God is on the Throne, in control, not surprised, and not helpless. 

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Might God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. ~Isaiah 9:6 (NKJV)

In any case, as a cautious and responsible caregiver, I've kept Mom and Dad inside most of the year. When traveling we wear masks but the only public place they've been in is Lowe's and looking for our new forever home. Oh yeah, we're moving. In the middle of a pandemic. I see another blog post coming: I Want To Live On A Farm.

But moving on ... For all our grocery needs, I order online from Walmart (If you're elderly, or a caregiver this makes life so much easier. Give it a try. It's free.); they shop for us, I set a time for a pickup, pack Mom and Dad in my little jeep and off we go. We never leave the car, but we do wear our masks. Even though it irritates us. 

I'm convinced that my whole household had COVID 19 in December of 2019. Either that or it was an extreme flu of some sort that we've never had before. Mind you, I've only ever had the flu about 10 years ago. I just don't get sick all that often. Maybe it's the Lord giving me grace. Nevertheless, we got through whatever it was we had: dry cough (mine would not go away for weeks), fever, drippy nose, a little hard to breathe, then all was well. I may have given mom Aleve for her sore throat. She couldn't swallow.

Trying to explain a world wide pandemic to dementia patients is near to impossible and reminding them why we can't go anywhere can get tiresome. I'm a broken record, so to speak. Praying for patience and wisdom.

I'm tired of the politics also. Somehow we've politized a pandemic. Pointing fingers at who's to blame. Seriously? I don't think anyone knows anything about this virus, and who is to blame. We all have opinions and it got us nowhere except angry, hateful, and divided. And maybe even now, you're saying, "yeah, but." In the end, whether you believe it or not, God has the last say.

Throughout this pandemic, the Lord has kept my family save. Even my son who works at Amazon and my daughter who works at a winery restaurant have not been sick. I pray for protection every day. I think they know that, but I'll remind them again.

I pray for my own health: emotional, mental, and physical health. Caregivers might need extra doses of each.  Taking Elderberry, drinking orange juice, taking my own meds, and using essential oils are my attempts to stay healthy. So far, so good.

Would I take the COVID 19 vaccine? I'm afraid not. And that's a no for my parents also. We're keeping a close eye on nations like the UK who are rolling out the vaccines as we speak. Did I hear side affects have been discovered? "Don't take it if you're allergic." Allergic to what? And this, of course, could be a whole separate blog post in itself. Maybe we'll go there later.

My parents are at risk for this virus. Dad has diabetes, suffers from dementia, Mom is showing signs of dementia, they have heart problems, and take blood thinners. At this point it might be science versus God. I choose God. 

Prayer: Lord keep us healthy. Keep us kind. May we be anxious for nothing. In our homes or at our jobs we will not fear, for you promised to walk us through the darkest storms. Thank you for your Son, the Prince of Peace. Jehovah Rapha heal our people and our land. Amen.

Not A Merry Christmas Poem

This is the season

We did not see coming

But maybe we did

After all ...

He never promised us roses

Or sunshine each day

He said trials were coming

Even to stay

And where would we run?

Safe in our homes?

We fight to put who on the throne?

We lean to the left

We fall to the right

We take away power

And use our own might

Who is left standing

On Earth even now?

Would you know

If you don't read his Word

How to survive in a drowning world?

Be ready in all circumstances

He said

But is anyone listening anymore?

The Savior is knocking on your door

Do not despair or live in fear

The Prince of Peace is already here.

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When Do Superheroes Sleep?

(This post contains affiliate links. No cost is involved if you click on a link. Full disclosure can be found here.)

I'm tired. It's not often that I utter those words and very rarely that I write them … anywhere. Doing so would cause me to face the fact that I'm not a superhero standing super erect, fists on hips, cape flailing in the breeze. To be honest, it's that persona that keeps me from saying it. Instead, I nod my head and bite my lip and take on every-single-request presented to me.

Ah, yes, take you to the store, absolutely! Stay up late to help you meet your deadline, certainly! Get up early and start breakfast, sure! Another meeting, another kid's sporting event, another class, another favor... by all means!

Did I mention I'm a mom? Of seven. And that four of those loud, always fighting, whining, complaining, noise-making, messy-room-having, chore-ignoring offspring still live in the house with us—with my husband and his middle-aged, wore-down and frankly, super tired wife.

At forty I was empowered. The world was mine. I knew what I wanted and was ready to go get it. I was free from the insecurities of my twenties and the self-searching of my thirties. I was fearless, driven. I ventured into old dreams and I started to live them. I determined it was surely time to stop trying to figure it all out and jump in with both feet.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. In my forties I started writing books. In less than 10 years I wrote upwards of twelve. In college I wanted to write a play. In my forties I wrote six! I started teaching art classes, I started a school, I began to mentor pre-teens, I dove deep into a barrage of volunteer opportunities.

And even though, for most people, that looks like more than enough to keep anyone busy, I was still doing favors for anyone who asked. I thought I could do it all and still be who I needed to be for myself. I was wrong. My end table was hosting a stack of to-be-read books, my craft room was full of meaning-to-get-to projects, my gym clothes... well, we just won't go there. I always had so many other things to do.

I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. Through my new prescription glasses (oh the joys of 40), that all looked like responsibility and loyalty. I scoffed when the doctor suggested I get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Self-care was laughable. I was too busy caring for everyone else in my life and still making time to live a handful of my own dreams.

On the sunset of my forties the "S" on my chest started to fade and the tights started getting a little tight and as 50 appeared in my daily planner between the high school winter dance and the middle school band concert I began to realize I was exhausted. I had lived nearly half of my life caring for the needs of other people who surely, should be able to take care of themselves.

So, friend, hubby, kiddos, I’m giving myself permission to say no, I am starting to see myself differently. Inundated with what I thought I had to be for all of the people that I thought needed me to be I didn’t realize that you will figure it out. You will make a way. You will do it without me. I don't have to solve every problem or figure out how to make ends meet. Sometimes the people in my life must save themselves. Even superheroes get tired.

So excuse me, if you will, as I take off my cape and fold it neatly to use as a pillow. And please, don’t wake me, I’m tired.

Ginger on Amazon

Ginger's Dolls

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Shopping with The Caregiver And More Freebies

Welcome to Summer. I totally missed it ... the first day of summer that is. So here's the first summer treat. Color Me Happy ...

Do you have a Canva account? Try it out and make your own masterpieces.

Canva is FREE, my friends. With a paid subscription, however, you can rule the world ... or so they say. You can even make eBook covers and video pins for Pinterest. And a little extra freebie to make more cash is Rakuten. Buy a subscription with Canva (if that was what you were thinking), join Rakuten first, and you'll receive 40 percent cash back. Of course, Rakuten seems to have every minor and major store on track with them. Just one way you can make money with your blog is to join Rakuten and spread the word.

Well now, yes, this is my shopping-list post, sprinkled with a few new freebies. Try not to yawn, it's important. Well, that's what my mom says. So, for anyone who's interested and beware, affiliate links linger here, but that's to say I actually do shop there myself. The gathered intel will blow your mind. Seriously! 

There's also a little blurp on how to monetize your blogs with affiliate networking. And fyi, I only showcase affiliates that I believe in. Truly I do. And with California facing another lock down (that's a whole other ball of wax, or can of worms, etc.) working from home, especially using our blogs, can be quite a life saver. Bloggers unite, I say. 

Nonetheless, as a caregiver I'm looking for deals and everything else that makes life run a little smoother. You know you're a caregiver of both parents when "going out" is to pick up groceries that you've ordered online, at Walmart. Short outings makes them happy, so who am I to argue that? It helps when the drive to Walmart is a sightseer's delight: fields filled with sheep, lambs, goats, kids, bison, camels, zebras, oh my; and a monument to Baby Jesus in the midst of it all. Yes, they all get along in the same pasture.

In any case, we do Hello Fresh: Parmesan Crusted Chicken with Creamy Lemon Tomato Spaghetti; and, Gouda Vibes Burgers with Tomato Onion Jam and Potato Wedges. I have two Dutch Indo parents who are just in love with Hello Fresh. I won't update the menu, but most of it is delicious. And as usual, I'm grateful it's shipped on time, packaged in ice very nicely, and not to mention they've made a gourmet chef out of me ... Mom and Dad say so.

Just for you, caregiver or not, make life a little easier and get your meal kits delivered. I highly recommend this. Join the club, grab your own affiliate link via Skimlinks or Rakuten and start earning with your blog.

I don't know your feelings about Walmart, but for us, they're pretty much a life-line. We're trying other avenues that will deliver or do your groceries. But for now, we've grown accustomed to "What's new at Walmart? and no delivery charge is great." Doing all my shopping online keeps me sane, especially these days when social distancing is a thing. Follow the link for the Stay-At-Home 4th of July needs. There's still time.

My Recommendations (The affiliates I Actually Use):
1. Grubhub: I love tracking the little car online to see where the driver is. Oy, I need a hobby. I love the app that tells me the food has been delivered. They're allowed to ring the Ring but sometimes they don't. 

2. Rakuten: Shop, get money back. Download the app and you're ready to go. I made $32 this month. Wayfair and Walmart are my biggest deals. If I shopped at Macy's I could probably make a lot more ... but, you know ... Macy's!

3. DoorDash: Today I let Mom and Dad try a taste of Denny's. It's been years since they last had a meal from there, even though they don't remember they ever graced Denny's facilities. They both need calories, but I did the 550 calorie meals, and weird to say food from Denny's keeps their BP below 120. Weird, I know. It also seems that DoorDash, the delivery service we used this time, is a tad bit cheaper than Grubhub. I love them both. 

4. True Leaf Market: This is where I shop for seeds to grow in my garden. I'm at the learning stage. My cucumbers have taken over our raised garden in the front. And I'm pretty sure my neighbors have snipped a few off the vine. At least I hope they're my neighbors. Anyhow, we'll be looking for organic at True Leaf Market. Maybe this time next year we've learned how to grow our own food. Our cucumbers have been a great starter project for us.

5. We also love to shop for our plants, seeds, and lately, anything to upgrade our home at Lowe's. It was one of Mom and Dad's favorite places to shop. A gift card or a Lowe's credit card was a dangerous thing in their wallets. So once in a while we take a field trip to Lowe's; Dad in a wheelchair, Mom with her wheelie walker, and we all wear our spiffy masks. It's very educational by the way, and a memory jolter for Dad. 

Visit True Leaf Market

This list will grow as I find my favorite places to shop online. Hope you come shop with us. And if you're interested in making a living from your blog, try SKIMLINKS. No need to look for merchants that match your site, they're all here in one place. Try it, I know you'll like it. 

I'm not one to shop in expensive places as you can tell, therefore, my cash back with Rakuten is nowhere near if I was shopping at Macy's all the time. But so far with Rakuten I've made over $50 back just shopping at Walmart, Petco, and using Grubhub, etc. It's all money I didn't have for shopping where I usually shop.

Skimlinks, as of July 23, 2020, is at $62. I know that if I worked on it a little harder I could score much more. However, I don't like asking friends and family to click on links all the time. Therefore, I keep learning from the experts. For now I'm building relationships with my followers across all social networks, which I think is important, and I'm enjoying that.

How to Have Devotional Time with the Elderly Suffering from Dementia

This, in my experience, is not all that hard, my friends—caregivers, mothers, and family members included. It's called Flash Devotional Time. Well, that's what I call it. Seriously, don't expect someone suffering from dementia to pay attention for more than 3 seconds. Never order them to either. It's absolutely okay to read just one scripture at breakfast, or here and there throughout the day, preferably one they might remember. My dad can still recite Psalm 23 and 118. Sometimes, if I start a scripture he'll remember the next line. It's all good, and it makes for a great beginning to a new day.

This brings me to our light-bulb moment. A few days ago I changed out a light bulb in the kitchen. Perhaps not a huge accomplishment, but I had to climb a ladder. Not my favorite thing to do. Nonetheless, the bulb had been flashing on and off and so I spoke to it. Don't laugh, it works sometimes. Especially in this house where lights like to turn on and off by themselves.  

I told the bulb to behave and that if it didn't let its light shine I'd banish it to the garage. That brought a wonderful deep bellowing kind of laughter from my Dad. And Mom then told the light bulb, "Yes, let your light shine so we don't have to sit in the darkness."

Ah, she just created her own devotional. This brought her much joy which lasted throughout the day. "Can't let my light flicker on and off like that," she mumbled and quickly added, "This then is the message which we have heard from Him and declare unto you: that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all." (1 John 1:5)

She didn't say it perfectly, word for word, but I knew which scripture she was reciting. And Dad said, "Amen." 

My Beloved Caregiver

(The Waning) 

When depression darkens the halls

of your mind

When the light on your path is dim

Focus your watch on me, 

my child

The darkness is passing

The fear is but fleeting

I Am there

in the midst of the storm

I give you my armor

from head to toe

I give you my strength

My wisdom

My joy

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A Caregiver's Prayer: Thank you, Lord, that your Word never comes back null and void. Every word is living bread. Let me never forget that dementia cannot take away the memory of You and that you have not forgotten them. With your strength I pick up my cross, revive the embers of my flame, my light, and continue on this path with joy, peace, love, and a whole lot of sappiness. Amen

Dusty Memories, Mother's Day 2020

Mother

In photos of dusty albums

A well-dressed child

Unruly hair

somehow gathered in a short curled-upped pony tail

A smile, always a smile

On her baby girl, me ...

Gathering flowers from the jungle where they lived

Chasing after a dog, a bird, maybe a monkey

Who knows?

Where is Mother?

Behind the camera? 

An old wind-up of sorts ...

Black and white photographs

Forever sketched, forever remembered

She makes sure her child is in perfect pose

Natural, never forced.

Happy, always happy.

A reflection of her

I hear her laughter

Her giggles

The sound of her bare feet on fallen leaves

As she runs through the maze of coconut trees

Chasing after the child she calls her Busy Bee.

Mother is beautiful, full of energy

Fearless ...

Strong ...

Brave ...

Meek ...

And Wise ...

She takes care of her household

Clothes are handmade

Food is abundant, 

though they say we are poor

Water is fresh, drawn from a well

And the fruit from the garden

Is shared with family and friends

Mother never complains

Though it is always hot

She says "but we have an ocean,"

Though there are no roads

She says, "but we have transportation."

Though the jungle is fierce

She has made it a home.

My mother is old now, she needs my help. And I'm honored to give it to her. She no longer cooks, but she cleans here and there. Her eyes are failing, and her glasses, sitting precariously  on top of her twitchy nose, is no help at all. But she wears them nonetheless. Her cataract surgery was suddenly deemed nonessential in this age of COVID 19, so that was placed on hold. Good thing she's patient. 

Sadly, her hearing is diminishing. Of course, she says we've just stopped talking clearly. "Pronounce your words," she reminds us. It irritates me somewhat until I realize she's grateful when I take her to her doctor for hearing tests, eye check ups and all that other stuff doctors are needed for. 

Sitting around and doing nothing is not her thing, but the heat of the day has taken away her  strength to work in her beloved garden. She leaves that up to me now. Not a wise thing,  I suppose, but I'm learning. I garden by the seat of my pants, so to speak. Toss a seed in the ground and hope it grows. 

Mom could have been wealthy but WW2 took away material things; Five houses, acres of land confiscated; three years a POW, no schooling till later when she was able to attend clothing designer school (yes, in the jungle), and then, when her mom witnessed a murder (as it was told to me), she and her family made a quick escape to New Guinea. They had nothing. 

She worked hard, built a house with her bare hands, raised her family in New Guinea, then Holland, Australia, and finally in the USA. 

She's tired now, she says, her legs hurt, her hands suffer with arthritis, but if the Lord allows it she has one more move to a new earthly-forever home, something we're trying to make happen for her. Our house of fourteen years has been a burden, we need to let it go. 

And then finally one day soon she'll go to that heavenly shore. Wait ... Pause. She's not quite ready for that. She says she still has purpose here, God's work is never done.

She's wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, teacher, part-time caregiver of her ailing husband, and most important a strong and faithful witness of her Lord Jesus Christ. At 82, and after two strokes, she's still comforting her neighbors and bringing God's Word whenever she has the chance. And, by the way, we're not ready to let her go. She knows that. Oh yes, she knows that. 

For Mother's Day Gift Ideas Please Visit Our Pinterest Board

The Caregiver's 2020 After COVID 19 Wish List

FYI: A post to remind us all that this too shall pass, God is in control, and faith over fear equals victory.

This ad was placed to break up my run on words

Quarantine life had a few advantages in the beginning, didn't it? We learned a thing or two, about ourselves, our kids, our fears, which news channel we favored, and what our spouses, or ex spouses, actually did for a living. But I'm under the impression that people developed cabin fever a mere two weeks into this "new normal". 

Funny thing is, life for us didn't really change—except that my daughter was no longer working—but I've been pretty much homebound, aka quarantined, with Mom and Dad for three years now. Both suffering a stroke and Dad dealing with dementia. Not to mention he's in a wheelchair most of the time. 

Traveling has been hard and staying home has been the easier choice, though we found our ways to stay healthy. Thank the Lord our house is big enough to where we all have our personal space. Nonetheless, there's something about a government order that just changes things. Although, I must say we got pretty creative with those face masks.

I decided, in order to bring a little joy (which is my Word for 2020) into this household I would  list an After COVID 19 Wish List. This will brighten our days and bring some joy! Here we go ... 

1. A New Television Set: During this pandemic I've converted the smaller part of our garage into a nice recreation room for Mom and Dad. This allows them to be outside while still being inside. Brilliant! However, it needs a TV so Dad can watch The Roadrunner. Meep meep. I'm happy.

2. A Large Birdcage: We have parakeets. Lots of them—like thirty. They're absolutely stunning. Their colors range from bright greens, to soft blues, darker blues, whites, and sunset yellows. It seems, however, that our outdoor aviary is getting smaller and smaller. So we've decided to save up and buy a large cage to separate the boys from the girls, for right now. Also, a few of the females have become eerily territorial. The softy that I am can't handle "survival of the fittest" and, thus, I step in and attempt to stop those feather-raising fights. It might make for good-TV if ever someone snaps a video of us. 

If you would like to adopt a couple, please feel free to shoot me an email:                        DeborahLAlten@TheCaregiversDevotional.com 
I'm desperate.   

3. New Clothes for Mom and Dad: Eeeck, I have got to be more adamant about doing their laundry. It's something Mom can still do ... sort of. She always forgets the settings on the washer and dryer. But I let her do it so she feels a little in control of her life. Haband, by the way, is where they usually shop. They've been with them so long they get free stuff with every order. I'm committed.

Update: Thanks to my wonderful niece, this has been taken care of. So sweet!


4. I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day at The Kickin' Crab. Who doesn't love eating food thrown right onto your table? I'm there. Maybe it's dinner for one this year, but I'll leave that in God's hands. I'm curious.

5. My garden is in disarray. The flash floods came, frosty nights arrived, cloudy days outlived their welcome and it all killed our tomatoes and potatoes, then my garden sprouted really weird looking weeds. We now have ducks in the open fields/streams behind our house, and frogs, but the lavender never showed up like they did last year. 

I cleaned up the raised garden bed in our front yard, the rain took care of the fountains, and I'll be bulk-buying veggies, bulbs, flowers, bushes, and maybe a miniature palm tree or two. Will have to check the sales at K. Van Bourgondien at Dutch Bulbs (say that five times fast), and the expert gardeners on Pinterest and my favorite inspirational farmhouse girls at Rosevine Cottage. I'm anxious.

6. Goodness, I need a haircut. I can cut Dad's hair and Mom's, too, but it's a little bit of a problem to do my own. So yes, I am going to get a haircut, and maybe I'll color it, too. I'm hopeful. 

7. Visit family and friends. Don't you just miss hugging the ones you love? I might cry. I'm a little impatient.

8. If I had a bike I would like to take a ride around the neighborhood or undoubtedly on the beach. I don't like helmets though. This Bike is on my wish list. It's the Susan G. Komen Beach Cruiser. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, and my cousin lost her battle with breast cancer a few years ago. I think this bike would start a wonderful conversation as I cruise with my daughter on the beach. I'm excited.

9. Go swimming with my friend, Julie. Oh my goodness do I miss our exercise routine. I mean, seriously, at one point we were considering the Senior Olympics. I'm kidding!

10. GO TO CHURCH! I'm joyful.

That's my list. I'd love to read yours. How are you doing in this season of quarantine? And remember, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

Canva will pay me 100 percent if you sign up. I don't even know what that means.

A Caregiver's Prayer: Lord may we put our trust and faith in you only. Heal our sick, heal our hearts, heal our land. Give health and strength to our health care workers and all those precious people who are working for our essential needs. Give them joy to make it through this season.